My favorite music era is the era of The Rat Pack. Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford, and Joey Bishop. A classic song of that era, is ‘You’re Nobody Til Somebody Loves You’, by Dean Martin. As much as I absolutely love that song, and can probably sing every word of it, those lyrics are something that have resonated with me for as long as I can remember.
I feel like I’ve been struggling for a while, and honestly, this post is going to be incredibly personal for me; but it is an incredibly important message that I want to spread as much as I can.
For me, my self worth is something that often slips, and I find myself in this rut of sadness and self destruction, trying to find my worth in anything, and everything I possibly can. Often, I try to determine my own worth via my personal relationships, both friendships, and dating relationships. As you could imagine, this never ends well for me. Most relationships are bound to stand trial, or to fail, and to try and find worth in that is just setting myself of for inevitable failure.
In this world of growing diversity, and change, we often find ourselves comparing ourselves, and even defining ourselves based off of our ailments, trials, and tribulation. Our trials help shape us to be better humans, but do not define us as individuals. It can be hard to find what makes you special, and unique. Our color, our weight, or our intelligence do not define who we are, or give us more, or less worth. We are not defined by our ailments, and our afflictions.
In our day and age of online (social), and even print media, our self worth, and self love, can be thrown away so easily, when we are taught, and fed this fact that you are essentially worthless until you have the nicest clothes, until you’re skinny, tan, and pretty, drive a nice car, have the best job, make the most money, go to the best school, etc. It’s a constant competition of worthless, meaningless goods.
I grew up thinking that if I didn’t go to school, graduate with straight As, go to college, get an amazing degree, marry an amazing man, and have an amazing family with an amazing job, that that would determine my worth in life, and determine my success. One of the hardest things for me to get over in my life right now, is knowing that my success isn’t determined by someone else’s timeline. Watching all of my friends on Instagram become married, continue going to college, and have children, is sometimes hard for me. But I am learning every day to accept that my life and others are not comparable when it comes to each other’s worth. One person’s timeline can be vastly different from someone else’s, and that is completely acceptable.
I am still struggling, every day, and that’s okay too. I am finding my worth in other things in life. I like to believe my worth is determined by the joy I spread, the smiles and laughter I share, the happiness I can donate to others, and the beauty I can add to the world as an individual every single day. I am learning to understand that my joy is not given to me by other people, but by the beauty of the world around me. I am learning everyday to find happiness in the small things. My little brother rubbing my hand as he passes by me, the sun glowing down on my skin as the weather starts to warm up, and the small flowers that start to blossom on the ground as spring time approaches. It’s not always easy to do so, but finding, and more importantly, producing your own happiness, and finding love for yourself, rather than relying on other people to do so, may just be the hardest thing i will do, but it is not only important, but vital to my health and well being.
Whether you are a religious person or not, every single person was put here on this beautiful, cosmic place, and we all have a purpose. Your worth is not determined by whether a boy or girl likes you, or not. It is not determined by how many clothes you have, the type of car you drive, the pace of your timeline, or the way you look. Your worth is determined by you, and you alone. No one else has a right to put a price on your priceless life. You are worth everything, and it may seem trivial to some, but it is so true.