I recently had a conversation with one of my friends, who was having a tough week. I too have been struggling quite a bit lately, and have been having a hard time reaching out to people for help. Not only is it hard to swallow your pride and admit that your life is not all sunshine and rainbows like we like to pretend it is, but it can be hard to admit to even yourself that you’re struggling.
I’m about to turn 20 years old this year, which is such a weird concept to me. When I was younger, I always imagined I would have my whole life together by the time I was 20. Yet, here I am, bumbling around, bumping into walls and tripping on flat surfaces. I don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life, I get stressed out a lot, and my timeline is nothing like what I thought it would be even just a few years ago. Everything is not always okay, and I’m here to tell you that that’s perfectly okay.
For some weird reason there’s this idea that’s been planted in people’s brains that it’s not okay to be sad or have feelings. How dare we have emotions and feel things, instead of unhealthily bottling our feelings up until they explode into an ugly turn of events. That’s been my problem for so long; bottling my problems up. It’s incredibly unhealthy, but stems from the stigma that I need to always be happy and peppy and never get upset about anything. It’s time to turn that belief around.
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. We hear this so often, and I agree.. To an extent. Sometimes life’s lemons just really suck. They’re too sour, not ripe yet, or just are the worst. Not every struggle that gets thrown your way has to turn into a huge triumph. People love to share their struggles, barring whether or not it has a great comeback story. We thrive off of people’s comebacks, we live for the instagram post about how life is still great, despite someone’s shortcoming.
Not every trial has to have a huge story. You don’t have to be the comeback kid everytime. It’s okay to just be upset and move on. It’s okay to just fail and that’s it. It’s alright to not be fine. It’s okay to NOT be okay. When we come to accept the fact that not every failure comes with this movie-esque uprising, when we stop being so hard on ourselves for not being happy every single day, life gets a little easier. When we accept that we’re doing the best we can, and maybe we didn’t want to make some lemonade from lemons anyways, life gets a bit more bearable.
You are doing your very best everyday. Even if you just woke up, got dressed, and brushed your teeth, you’re doing great. If you decided to lay in bed all day, you’re still trying your hardest. We need to stop being so hard on ourselves and telling ourselves that we just need to push through, and stop being upset. Feel those feelings. Be sad, lay in bed and cry. Then, when you’re done, move on. Don’t look back. You’re doing your very best every single day. You woke up, you’re here, you’re breathing. That’s all you can really ask for.
We only have one life to live. We aren’t here to please anyone. Our story is not so we can achieve more facebook likes. Our life is to be lived, and to feel things deeply, and to laugh and cry and be humans. That’s all we can really do.